


As the Boulder Rolls

by JValentine0



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Boulder on Tofu Action, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29248947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JValentine0/pseuds/JValentine0
Summary: This is literally about a boulder and a block of tofu
Relationships: Boulder & Tofu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	As the Boulder Rolls

_**Narrated by Alfred Ashford** _

* * *

1998

Clock Tower, Raccoon City

Dawn could not come soon enough. The entire city was infected with a mysterious virus. The citizens had been turned into horrifying zombies or worse. Hope had vanished from this quaint and peaceful place. Now only chaos and fire could be found. Help was not coming.

Evading a swarm of zombies, Tofu took refuge in the Saint Michael Clock Tower courtyard. Tofu thought of the horrifying things that had transpired over the past few days. "………."

Wow, what a terrifying experience. Tofu clearly had the resolve of iron.

Bouncing into the courtyard, Tofu stopped short and was in utter shock as to just who was there too.

Having smashed into the courtyard and nestled against the side of the massive tower, bathed in nothing but moonlight, was Boulder. Their paths had diverged months ago.

* * *

1998

Arklay Forest

Tofu was on the verge of tears as they both stood overlooking the sprawling forest. "…….."

A zombie stopped and stared at the two for a moment, then shuffled on its way.

Boulder would hear none of it. "………." Boulder shouted angrily.

This was too much for Tofu. All of the dreams they'd had of a home and a quiet life together were up in smoke. Boulder, at the end of the day would always be Spencer's lapdog. "…………"

There was nothing more to say. It was never meant to be. It had to never be. They were two solid and handsome ships passing in the night. Oh sure, their love was a special thing, a once in a lifetime experience. However, Boulder knew a love like theirs could never be.

Dirt giving way under weight, Boulder simply rolled away downhill. Launched into the air off some jetting rocks, it took out the entire landing gear assembly and intermediate gearbox of Bravo Team's helicopter before smashing into the dirt and rolling along toward the mansion. Really, that tail was holding on by a thread. Duty demanded Boulder be ready to stop S.T.A.R.S. soon.

Everything for Umbrella was Boulder's motto after all.

The mission was a failure with Jill Valentine ducking into a convenient cavity in the rock wall as Boulder attempted to crush her.

* * *

That had been months ago, Tofu assumed Boulder dead and now feelings swelled in Tofu's heart. Old feelings that would not die.

Boulder felt the same.

Yet, Tofu needed to know… "………….."

Boulder was in shock, guilt permeating throughout a granite surface. "……."

Tofu could not believe it! And Boulder had done all of that with Wesker! Oh the betrayal. Tofu had known Boulder was a free spirit; but this? Rubber sheets and a tub of butter? Who the hell was Ada Wong? Oh how Tofu couldn't take this and began to bounce away.

Boulder called out to Tofu. "………"

"…………"

"………….."

"…."

Tofu turned around, facing Boulder. Boulder had been Tofu's rock through so many hard times. Bouncing back over, Tofu decided to forgive Boulder. Leaning against Boulder, Tofu sighed. "……."

Some things would just have to be discussed further when they escaped this place. Which was in about four seconds when the missiles hit and both were ejected out of the city and into the forest. Everything went dark when Tofu crashed into a tree.

* * *

2004

Boulder had followed his fellow agents into joining The Organization. Tofu was dead. There was nothing left for such a rugged and handsome being to do but carry on.

The mission was also a failure. Nobody had told him Leon S. Kennedy had been on the Raccoon City Track Team and held a national record in sprinting.

Clearly this had been a set up. "…………."

Boulder was quite the observant individual. Wesker was, indeed, a massive dick.

Memories of Tofu flooded Boulder's mind. Tofu's beautiful block form, the way Tofu would bounce along in the sunlight on one of their walks through the Arklay Forest. Tofu showering, patting soy sauce along all the places Boulder loved.

Boulder decided this was the time to betray his superiors and make his escape. He wanted revenge now. Jack Krauser was expecting back up but now it would never come. Ada would be heartbroken, but all is fair in love and war.

_"Whatever that means in this situation. This story reads like the plot of Umbrella Chronicles. Okay fine, I'll keep reading."_

Crashing through five houses, killing countless Los Illuminados, Boulder rolled onto a boat. Crushing the cultist who had just started the engine, Boulder soon disappeared into the fog and open water.

There would come a day when Boulder would settle the score for what happened to Tofu. Or something.

* * *

2009

Kijuju, Africa

_"Is this train wreck almost over? Oh Thank God."_

Boulder rolled into Kijuju late in the evening. Finding his hotel room, Boulder tried to settle in for the night. There was a knock at the door. Boulder answered it dripping wet from a shower. "……….."

Yes, it was indeed Tofu.

Overjoyed, Boulder let Tofu in. Their lips met, darkness and heat engulfed Boulder like a wave breaking over him in the sea shallows. "………."

"……….."

"……….."

"……….." Tofu admitted. Wow, what a crazy journey the sexy soy block had been through.

Boulder had tears in his eyes, he was so happy he started frenching Tofu again. He could hold his feelings back no longer. Soon they were rolling all over the hotel room, crushing everything. On the silk sheets of what remained of the bed, they got sexy. They totally did it all over the hotel room. Sexily. At one point an avocado got involved while Lance Bass from *NSYNC serenaded the sexy love making from the balcony.

Completely spent they fell asleep snuggled up together.

Tofu awoke to find Boulder gone. A letter was left behind telling Tofu everything:

"………… ………….. .. …… ………. …….. ……… ………. ……… ……."

Tofu was heartbroken! This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

* * *

2005

A Volcano

Boulder blocked Chris's way, attempting to convince him to spare Wesker. Albert owed him twenty dollars still.

Tofu arrived, bouncing across hot rocks as he approached Boulder. "……………."

"…………."

"……." Boulder had to admit Tofu was right. Twenty dollars really wasn't worth the entire world being destroyed by Wesker. He makes the ultimate sacrifice, rolling right into the brilliant red river.

"………" Tofu screamed, racing toward Boulder as Chris used him to cross over the dangerous molten rock, his instinct to punch everything out of control.

"………." Boulder whispers, smiling as Tofu leans against him.

"………." Tofu mutters, already slightly crisp on all sides from the intense heat. In the background, Chris punches Wesker right into the lava after swinging and missing Sheva.

"……." says Boulder, who then goes quiet.

Tofu, full of grief, looks up to see Wesker trying to get out of the lava as Chris and Sheva attempt to climb the ladder dropped by the helicopter. Tofu attempts to join them, only to be punched by Chris. Sent flying, Tofu clocks Wesker in the face, allowing the pair of heroes to ascend to the safety of the aircraft.

Two rockets, so much cooked tofu flying everywhere.

The nightmare was over.

* * *

2006

Boulder arrives in America via a Delta flight. It had been his clone who made the ultimate sacrifice in the volcano. Tofu was gone, and once again Boulder had to carry on. No longer was he carrying on for Umbrella. Now, he was carrying on for himself.

_Fin_


End file.
